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DC League of Super-Pets: Barkin' Up The Wrong Tree

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Riot’s Movie Reviews: DC League of Super-Pets



Of all the films out there right now, how did I end up alone, in a nearly empty theater, watching a children’s movie about anthropomorphic animals? First, my partner in crime hasn’t been feeling well. Second, I had some downtime. Third, I gotta stay up on that nerd-culture, baby! Admittedly, this seemed like a bad choice from the start. Outside of the recent thriller, The Batman, the roller coaster that is the DCEU has been having a very rough go of it lately. Justice League (both versions) spent so many hours doing nothing it made Congress look productive. Wonder Woman 1984 set a new definition for Sophomore Slump. And the live-action Harley Quinn took three turns at being laughably awful (Suicide Squad 1+2, Birds of Prey). To top all that off, the preview for DC League of Super-Pets certainly did itself no favors, offering seemingly little to set itself apart from The Secret Life of Pets. So, how did I like the film going in solo, with little to no expectations, and wishing I had chosen to watch Elvis instead? Let’s just say I’m glad I didn’t have kids to bring.

DC League of Super-Pets may have “taken flight” at the box office but it’s hard to understand why. The few children that were in the theater were so bored with the production that their parents/guardians were struggling to keep them still. Children’s films and their scripts carry a heavy burden to be sure. They obviously have to appeal to the kid’s five-second attention span while simultaneously injecting enough humor/jokes into the film so that the adults aren’t bemoaning the expense of the increasingly higher priced tickets and concessions. DC League of Super-Pets didn’t really accomplish either. The themes of the film (friendship, jealousy, love, abandonment) and the vast majority of jokes felt too targeted for only the adult audience. Perhaps, even with my low expectations, I was still assuming there would be more “slap-sticky” visual humor that is typical in a children’s movie, but it was simply lacking. It seems our society is expecting too much of children these days, assuming a maturity level that does not or even should not exist. Let kids be kids.

The film’s other main downfall seemed to be consistency. It vacillates hard between the Justice League being competent and utterly moronic heroes. It makes several references to the idea that the humans of the film cannot understand the language of the pets, but then has long stretches of dialogue that imply they can understand each other. Its entire premise of being a children’s movie is juxtaposed against dirty (sometimes sexual) humor and even small injections of foul language (bleeped out cussing, for Lord knows what reason). Aesthetically, there were a number of design choices that were baffling to say the least. Given well-known, well-established characters, the animators took silly liberties with the Justice League members. Ex: Cyborg’s half-fro and Aquaman’s webbed feet?! (See the above image) An inordinate amount of time was spent on setting, highlighting the contrast against the poor character design/animation. Finally, the directors are going to have to explain why they would use an end credits scene that insulted the concept of the anti-hero to promote the upcoming Black Adam film. Simply asinine.

The best aspect (and this is a stretch) that the movie had to offer was the all-star cast of voice-actors. But even with the draw of big names like Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Keanu Reeves, and John Krasinski, it wasn’t enough to save this film. As much as I’ve enjoyed their run together, the K-Hart/Rock team-up has run its course, time to let it go fellas. Also, animated films should start making some room for no-names who are actually looking to turn in performances rather than cashing in a paycheck. I think some of these A-liters don’t have enough experience at this and it shows. I know what you’re thinking, “Riot, it’s a kid’s movie, chill out.” And I agree, I should chill out. But I’m not gonna. Two thumbs/paws way down.


P.S: Way to ruin Ace for me.


Riot’s Rating: 4/10: Parents wanting to save a buck should wait for RedBox.

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