Riot’s End of the Year Review Dump
Happy New Year to you all and thanks again for tuning into the blog! December 31st, 2023 I dubbed 2024 “the year to do grown up s***” and whilst pursuing this goal, the reviews unfortunately took a bit of a back seat. A major job change, a malfunctioning computer, another dose of chronic health issues, and a resurgence of my procrastination/lack of reading discipline didn’t help as well. I feel like I accomplished my year’s goal for the most part, but I’d like to reassert my commitment to the blog and get back into the literature reviews that were completely glossed over in 2024. I’m dubbing 2025 “the year of growth” and I hope that will include this blog and its audience. So, if you enjoy what I’m putting out there, please don’t forget to leave a like and share any reviews you’re particularly fond of. Also, I’m open to any and all suggestions for changes or things you’d like to see covered in the new year. Blessings to you all! -Riot
*Going from lowest to highest in quality and very much out of order with release dates.
Gladiator II: Another 2024 sequel and another open ended and unanswered question of “Who the hell was this made for?” Gladiator II is a profoundly confusing and sloppy mess. The storytelling lacks all semblance of consistency and unlike its predecessor, its disjointed and lackluster action sequences aren’t able to salvage the absolute lack of compelling narrative. It’s strange watching a film where the acting (from almost every character) can’t be identified as particularly bad per se, but it can’t be defined as good either. Everyone seems out of place and awkward, no more so than Denzel Washington who’s shown too often awkwardly fussing with his robes so much its unbearable and distracting. Trying to shoehorn a new plot to fit the original film’s storyline becomes a major detriment as near everything that made the original special gets systematically dismantled as the movie goes on. Lucius (Paul Mescal) as a character lacks the background and motivation that made Maximus such a compelling character and since his goals/revenge plots shift dramatically from person to person as the film progresses, the audience isn’t given proper opportunity to empathize with the man. Who are we supposed to hate here? General Acacius (Pedro Pascal)? No, hate the emperor(s) (Joseph Quinn and Fred Hechinger)! No wait! Hate Macrinus (Washington)! Lucius’ motivations are harder to track than his personality. For a brooding, so-called embodiment of “pure rage” the guy is shown with an awkward grin an awful lot. He vacillates from hate to love so often you’re not even sure what really matters to the man. There’s a whole lot more that I could say here, but Gladiator II boils down to a few things: a stunning lack of consistency/horribly poor editing, terrible sound mixing that takes you out of the moment and a score that doesn’t fit the situation, and lackluster action scenes that are neither groundbreaking or unique. This reeks of a movie that should’ve never been made and I’m sad to hear they’re working on another.
Riot’s Rating: 3/10: Points given for actors who really tried to make a bad script work. But the monkey arena battle alone is enough to disqualify this movie from consideration.
Kraven: The Hunter: The news surrounding this movie I’m sure has a lot of you wondering how I could put this film ranked above Gladiator and let me tell you, it barely edges it out. Kraven: The Hunter had me asking some similar questions, but in a slightly less painful way. It’s obvious by now that Sony didn’t have any clue what they wanted to do with this expanded Spiderman Universe. I warned a long time ago against this phenomena that was creating a bunch of low-tier cinematic universes and this string of films I think proved me right. Kraven suffers from a lot of problems I’ve talked about in the past, primarily the fact that once again we are spoon fed some new narrative where a villain is supposed to have some sympathetic backstory. At base facts, turning him into an empathetic, wildlife lover and conservationist is so baffling I almost spit out my drink. The dialogue all throughout the film is ham fisted and often boring, often relying on play by play exposition done by characters that have little to no personality or charm. Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is guilty of this often, but no one delivers weaker, blander, more uninteresting dialogue than Calypso (Ariana DeBose). Calypso as a character is so bastardized from her comic book origins I’m not even sure why she needed to be included. Pair this with yet another horrible performance from Fred Hechinger (Kraven’s half-brother and the villain The Chameleon) and two of the weakest antagonists I’ve seen in a while (Rhino/Alessandro Nivola and The Foreigner/Christopher Abbott) and you got the makings of another Sony Stinker. So why does this film barely beat Gladiator? ATJ (when he’s not being forced to spew awful dialogue) is a pretty great Kraven. He’s got all the look and physicality the character needed, I just wish they let him stick with a Russian accent for the entirety of the film. Outside of having to distance himself from his Quicksilver role, I’m not sure why they made him do an American accent. It took a lot away from the character. I also enjoyed the action sequences and special effects more than I thought I would. The “R” rating allowed for a physical brutality that is aligned with Kraven as a character, so I was happy to see that. Russell Crowe was also pretty great but was underutilized throughout. The movie begins well and ends fairly well but teased a lot of stuff that now will never come to fruition (Sony “reluctantly” gave up on this cinematic universe). I think a lot could have been salvaged if writers approached these films with a more refined sense of world-building instead of the mish mosh we were left with. Guess we’ll never know what could have been.
Riot’s Rating: 3.1/10: Bad editing, bad dialogue, and a bad premise made sure this film would never have the proper lift off. It’s a shame ATJ became a wasted talent in two comic universes.
Moana 2: Moana (Auli’i Cravalho), Maui (Dwayne Jonhson), Pua, and HeiHei are back for a “new” adventure and if you’ve seen the film, you know why I put “new” in quotes. Moana 2 is almost a pound for pound copy of its first installation’s narrative. Granted, this isn’t exactly a bad thing. It’s familiar and it’s still fun, but it means that as an audience, we don’t get a whole lot more from this universe and its expanding group of characters. It’s ironic that the growing cast is the film’s biggest detriment as Moni (Hualalai Chung), Loto (Rose Matafeo), and Kele (David Fane) do very little to add or even advance the storyline. It’s not the performers’ fault either, they can’t help that the script doesn’t provide for their influence. The staple of a good Disney film also rests heavily on its music and unlike its predecessor, Moana 2 doesn’t quite deliver. I’ve bemoaned this idea before, but I really am not enjoying what I’ve dubbed the “LMM (Lin-Manuel Miranda) Effect” on Disney music composition. If I don’t appreciate the original, there’s little chance I’m going to enjoy a copycat and it’s because of this that I think the music of the film suffers (especially Maui’s new song…oof). It’s only when the traditional lyrics/music of the islander is featured does the soundtrack shines and while the single was a bit too wordy for me, Awhimai Fraser put on a heck of a performance for her new character’s track. So what makes Moana 2 view worthy? The animation/effects for this film are jaw-droppingly gorgeous. I mean it, almost unbelievable and stunning. And while it serves as the film’s biggest detriment, the familiarity of the story and its characters is also a boon. It’s relaxing, comfortable, funny and is an absolute treat for the eyes. Another strong family movie for Disney.
Riot’s Rating: 7.8/10: Throwback to another gripe of mine, the disembodied villain is a bad choice and the ending opens more questions than I think can be handled in a third film, but when the visuals are this good, it’s hard to be too critical.
Heretic: Now Heretic’s a film that is pretty far outside of my usual interests, mostly because it’s categorized as a horror flick. So what brought me into the theater (alone btw) for this one? The reasons are threefold: 1) while I can’t be called a Hugh Grant fan, recent roles have led me to believe this guy is really as great as everyone always said he was 2) the studio, a24, seems to be one of the few that are making a name for themselves by creating original content 3) the trailer implied/sort of promised an investigation into faith/religion but with that horror’s edge. Points 1 and 2 came to fruition, I’m not so sure about 3. To say that Grant put on a clinic for this film would be an understatement. His character is charming, awkward, intelligent, creepy, and sadistic all rolled up into one. His monologues are intense and perfectly delivered and his interactions with the two girls (Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East) are about as good as they can be. Utilizing (majority wise) only three characters and one location (with multiple rooms) lends so much intensity to each scene and helps keep the tension tight and focused. Words are power in this setting and the writing does a good job at keeping the audience perched uncomfortably at the edge of their seats. A film like this confirms that a24 is setting the pace for original content to be sure. Now, where the film unravels a bit lies in its conclusion which irreparably damages the film’s premise. Although the film is out of theaters, I still don’t want to spoil things. What I will say though is that what begins as an interesting deconstruction of faith/religion devolves into a tired and insufferably boring final message. It was reminiscent of my feelings for Don’t Worry Darling where the interesting premise gets shoved away by overplayed social orthodoxy. Even Mr. Reed’s (Grant) initial intelligent musings disintegrate at a rapid pace into what I would call a Wikipedia entry for Atheism. The stances he takes are unoriginal and unsubstantial which flies in the face of his character’s supposed decades of scholastic achievements. By the final scene I was left disappointed and confused watching another perfectly decent hour and fifty minutes be ruined by its last twenty.
Riot’s Rating: 8/10: The visuals are awesome, the acting is great, but the lack of substance and the film’s predictability hurt it.
A Real Pain: This one probably flew well beneath the radar for a lot of people, but all it really took for me to hunt down a viewing time slot was the promise of Kieran Culkin and Jesse Eisenberg acting together in a film. Two cousins reunite for a tour of Poland after the death of their grandmother, setting a somber and emotional tone as they travel to see the place where she was born and raised. A Real Pain is one of those unexpected gems of a film. Because its driven by so few characters, it allows the audience to have a very intimate journey with the two cousins, Benji and David. They are relatable in a fundamental and simple way, exuding personalities that most people know in real life or at the very least can identify someone who acts just like them. Benji is a black sheep, charming, confrontational, highly extroverted while David is the cautious, neurotic, reserved, quietly introverted type. The scenery of the film is peaceful and disarming and it leaves a lot of room for the emotional, charged dialogue. The dynamic of the tour group and how it responds to the social landmine that Benji is just adds the right amount of awkward tension to every event/change of scenery they come to. The soundtrack/music elevates each scene and the dialogue between Benji and David is extremely well written. I think that the characters weren’t a big stretch for either Culkin nor Eisenberg which might be a negative point if they both weren’t so damn good at being those guys. Their relatability as real men out in the world mourning and rediscovering the foundation of their relationship/friendship is so endearing that you want to be a part of their journey. The tour group’s trip to a Nazi Concentration Camp was a particularly heavy moment and Jesse Eisenberg did a stellar job at capturing visuals that will stick with you forever. My rating for this film isn’t going to be as high as what maybe a lot of you will say, though. Without spoiling, the end of the film is pretty unsatisfying and gives out a message that I think contradicts the rest of the movie or at the very least contradicts the journey you go through as an audience to the story. Also, while emotionally charged and powerful, the film is uneventful as a whole. I didn’t leave the theater feeling the complex emotions that a movie like The Iron Claw left me with. It’s apples to oranges stylistically, but also not at the same time. I’ll struggle to find the right words for it because it was just the feeling I left with, but quality-wise, A Real Pain was fantastic.
Riot’s Rating: 8.7/10: Y’all should find a way to watch this one and let me know your thoughts. Very, very, very strong film.
Sonic the Hedgehog 3: Insert Jim Carrey meme from Liar Liar screaming, “Oh Come On!!!” I know some of y’all are going to be a little indignant on this one and that’s fair, but let me make my case. Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is a great movie because it delivers. I think a lot of people that have watched each Sonic movie so far have left with this feeling: “that was better than I thought it would be!” And I think it’s exceedingly rare to watch a trilogy improve as time goes on. The Sonic movies have been clever and interesting video game adaptation films, but most of all they have been distinctively character driven and have been coupled with family-friendly messaging that is needed more than ever in children’s content. The voice acting has been great and the human characters have delivered on the cheesy, slapstick humor that is expected from films like this. Also, as a person who was never the biggest fan of Jim Carrey (In my heart of hearts, I reserve his praises for these three: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Liar Liar) I gotta say this role as Ivo/Gerald Robotnik is perfect for his wheelhouse. After “retiring” from acting, it’s kind of a testament to the franchise that they were able to pull him back in to deliver the performance he did for this movie. It was quintessential Carey and I thought he was hilarious the whole way through. The creators were more inclined to let the animated characters drive the storyline this time and I think it was a good choice. The human element were not without their roles to play and they did it well, but making sure Sonic (Ben Schwartz), Tails (Colleen O’Shaughnessey), Knuckles (Idris Elba), and Shadow (Keanu Reeves) drove the action was absolutely the right choice. There was an abundance of good natured humor, well executed 4th wall breaks, and slapstick shenanigans that left the children audience in stitches. There was plenty of entertainment for the adults but this was a kids movie that delivered for the kids in nearly every way. The special effects were a bit of a mixed bag between toned-down textures for the heroes and incredible, real world animations. But outside of that, Sonic 3 was an absolute blast.
Riot’s Rating: 8.9/10: Fun for the whole family. Idris Elba shouting “Pika Pika” is comedy gold.
Wicked: I mentioned in a previous review that I was worried about this movie. Unfortunately, like many people out there, I think my nervousness was being swayed by the outside drama that was percolating through social media before its release. This is a problem with the entertainment industry that I would like to deconstruct on a longer post, but I am happy to report that once it came down to watching the film, my worries were unfounded. Like many of you out there, I was able to see Wicked in its musical form and was blown away by the experience. Admittedly, I understood even back then that this re-imagining of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz was setting precedent for one of my most loathed tropes in storytelling right now: sympathizing with the villain. But, being a pioneer of this type of story, the idea was interesting, the character was compelling, and the music carried you away, almost like you were defying…lol.
Anyways, you know by now I’m big on music. I haven’t seen a whole lot of musicals live, but I know they are notoriously difficult to adapt to the big screen. Even one of my favorites, The Phantom of the Opera, was panned by critics when it was released in 2004 (yet, they were much more kind to Les Miserables, which I thought was pretty atrocious). The point is, something often gets lost in the translation and it’s a daunting task to try and please people when it comes to these films. Here’s my “hot take,” I’m not sure anyone is going to do this better than what Wicked has just accomplished. It is not without fault to be sure, but this was entertainment at its finest as far as I can tell. Director Jon M. Chu did something that I think hasn’t been seen yet in a musical to film adaptation: he blurred the line between the two so much that it often felt like you were actually watching the musical, not a movie. Chu found a way to transport the audience directly into a musical theater and somehow made a two hour and forty minute experience not feel long at all. The original isn’t even that long and this is just part one!
The music was fantastic again and the vocal performances were about as good as it gets. Cynthia Erivo (Elphaba) and Ariana Grande (Galinda) absolutely killed it. But even their excellent singing was somehow overshadowed by their chemistry as characters and I was beyond impressed with the way they fed off each other both as rivals and later as friends as the movie progressed. While it felt like Ariana took a little bit to fully embody her character, she hit her stride just before the “Popular” number and then never looked back. The choreography was incredible throughout and it was just a visually magical film. The set design was unreal and stole the show for me. Some of the things they introduced, like Oz’s miniature model and everything to do with the library at Shiz were a “need to be seen to be believed” type of designs. Although an expected appearance, it was brilliant to include the original cast members in an unexpected way and there were plenty of Easter Eggs for fans to pick up on littered throughout the film.
My complaints are extremely nitpicky. 1) The movie is in fact a little too long even though it doesn’t feel like it. There are some lulls that could be tightened up into 2:15-2:20 that would have perfected the film and I think would have enforced the desire for the second. 2) Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Yeoh were misses for me, felt out of place. 3) The last portion of “Popular” has a painfully bright pink filter that kind of ruins the ending. 4) Erivo’s final note in “Defying Gravity” didn’t hit the same and I think could have been simplified (it did not at all ruin the sequence, her voice coupled with the flying effects were fiiiiiire). 5) Continuity-wise, I couldn’t help but be bugged by the inconsistency with Elphaba’s cape at the end, is it long or short…pick one.
Riot’s Rating: 9.7/10: Visually stunning and musically beautiful, Wicked is a must watch.
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